To the one who knows?

Sitting in the balcony in silence…I wondered and waited.
Waiting… for the time… when time is no more.
Waiting …where wait ceases to be and it is no more.
Sitting in the dusk gazing out at the vacant sky…

Wishing for a better time
Waiting for a better tomorrow…
A long sigh escapes my being as I find my self typing the remnants of a vision.

The darkness soon came that evening and the blackness of her eyes reflected the outpouring of her soul; now as she lay in my arms crying softly, like so many tears before it- this tear found its way on my chest from her eyes.

Surrounded by the darkness that was her love, for in this darkness I shall find solace …I know this. The light had left us long ago, alone in a place, we had never been together – this was a first time for me and for her too. At first she was scared, but then she willed it to come back, sit with me once more, in quiet harmony. Never shall I forget- the gentle warmth and the caress of her skin lightly against mine, the warmth of security, the light of hope.

I knew I would never feel her hands touch mine once more. Never see the moonlight again in her eyes for a long time to come. Those eyes of deep topaz yellow would never look upon me again for a long time to come. Those deep eyes- I can never forget…the eyes that showed me what love is. The eyes showed me the magic of light and shadow shimmering in unison. The eyes told me the secrets of this world, and of the beauty of others.

Not a word was ever spoken between us, yet we somehow seem to have shared all the understanding in the universe. She told me of the true color of love. She told me of the purity light contains. She showed me the place the soul calls home. She showed me how to fly.

When I closed my eyes I could still feel her warmth. The warmth of a purity never meant for this earth.. I saw this scene play out in my head again and again. Holding her in my arms, I looked up at her. The pain in her eyes was now taken over by love and understanding. Her eyes reassured me that everything would be ok. My eyes shut. My body took a final breath and released it, and with it all the pains of a mortal body too were exhaled.

She floated in my imagination as a feather would float in air. She glided in my spaces for what seemed to be a lifetime. We walked up the path, cradling me in her arms as she walked. This was a place where she once found magic, where the dreams of dreamers were born. As we sat on the earth, in the light of dusk, she wrapped her long fingers around mine and her shimmering indigo cloth over our intertwined hands. She clenched to my hand as if this was the only earthly possession she had and her aim was just to give love, and she gave it with all her being.

Holding me in her arms once more she stepped into deeper into my being. Looking to the heavens, I felt her, as she moved deeper, until only her essence was felt. As the faint light of the first star appeared in the sky, I knew it was time to stop this cerebration. I saw the look in her eyes when I said my silent goodbye. A goodbye filled with love and wisdom too great for this space. She had no more tears to shed for me, she was empty. An emptiness so complete it seemed she would feel nothing forever more

Retracing my steps back , I found my self sitting there in the balcony with the laptop perched on my laps and the cup of once hot coffee… Silently I gazed into the sky until light and dark were one.

Sitting with silence.
Floating with dreams.
Smiling at my self...at what I imagined and what I had typed.
Smiling at the words that stared back at me from the laptop screen.

I knew it was vague but I had my blog entry.

June 26th Vienna Virginia