Another random rambling.....

Another random rambling.
Another assortment of mixed metaphors and contradictions…that's what the mind churns out these days.

It was about to rain that evening. The air was laden with moisture. You could feel the heaviness of the rain laden cloud hovering above you. Armed with a note pad and my camera, I walked over to the Dunn Loring metro bridge, it is my favorite hangout these days. I spent most of my lonely evenings watching aimlessly the moving traffic on the interstate number 66.

I like to believe that life is like the traffic that flows on the interstate. People moving from one point to another.

A source-a journey- a destination.

My life too is like this traffic. Governed by ethics, cultural norms, guided by signs from the occult, a wrong exit and it takes hell of a time to come back to where you once were ...damn another random epiphany- I thought as a faint smile passed over

Bound in the rat race, I move aimlessly

From life to death,
From proud to humble,
From poor to rich, I am, like all in the same crowd.

With each passing day, I thought- we destroy ourselves,

Just to feed the fathomless void in our torso,
Just to satisfy our urge to grow.

I think it would be better if we all just left, and hope in time we learn to do our best.
For if we don’t, it may not be that we can control what happens to we.

I say this now, watching the days ebb by, hoping along the way that I learn some patience, and persistence- yes a generous helping of it would be nice, but most of all I want my life to come out as I dreamt and as I dream in my sojourn through this strife.

I am not the person I could be, normally this definitely bothers me.
But lately I was thinking that, if I am not the best that can be, am I really me?

Huh!!!!- damn the blare of the passing truck - just broke the flow-

I can imagine how the Gods dance about my situation. What seems to be bad karma turns against itself and becomes a blessing incognito, enwrapped by false promises and submission. Submission to the authority of which I have never had a say in and never will.

“You’re worthless. You can’t do anything right. An engineer, A photographer, a poet, a writer? Who has heard of all these come into one being? You can barely keep your thoughts coherent and constant, your words slur! Your compositions are crass and you can’t find yourself a decent job”- shouts the voices in my head.

But then I believe this rat race is to prove the voices wrong. Proving once more why I have been placed here on this spinning dark-blue orb: to prove you wrong. To prove that no matter the obstacle, there are words to get around it.

Its surreal how often the notion that I was not placed here by natural circumstances, but instead by some other life form as an experiment…Absurd how often this thought strikes the mind and seems feasible. Feasible! Well, I know nothing of that kind of thing. All I know of feasibility is that my foible mind cannot grasp such a lofty concept.

Revolution seems impossible when all I can think of is why I should try if no one else has. It’s all I can think about. All I can ever envision when I try and grasp the one piece of my mind that isn't washed away

Think. They say...But, then I ask them.... how does one think when all one knows is to be thoughtless?

30th June
5.45 am
Vienna Va